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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Mamas Miss Their Daughters

In this difficult divisive time… in response to a dear friend’s request, I re-post this Thanksgiving message:

Mamas Miss Their Daughters
Posted on December 2, 2014 by Constance
A recent Saturday Night Live video, “Back Home Ballers,” about a group of girls going home for Thanksgiving, made the rounds last week on Facebook and Twitter. My niece, who is also my Facebook friend, posted it and I laughed out loud. (Apparently, my college daughter “tweeted” it, also, but we’re not friend-tweeters, or whatever the social media term is, so I missed her post.) I think I laughed so hard just to keep from crying, because those girls were talking about ME! I’ll break it down for you, in case you missed it.

The clip begins with a group of inappropriately-dressed girls driving up to their parents’ house, and rapping, “Your girls are back. We’re home for Thanksgiving, y’all, and our parents are real glad to see us, so they’re going to treat us like queens.” Next, one of the girls hands her bag to the “valet,” which is really her daddy, then she notices an over-stuffed fridge and exults that her mom went to Costco. Another girl states she’s going to “tear it up, get a plate real dirty and not clean it up,” followed by her desire to do an entire load of laundry “for just one sock.” They all join in to sing the chorus: “I’m a back home baller; if I want something I just holler. I do what I want and I get what I want cause my parents miss their daughter.” And, finally, “They wait on me like I’m sickly, that’s the life of a back home baller.”

Funny, yet sad and pathetic. It’s me they’re talking about/making fun of. It’s true. I booked my daughter’s flight home months ago, and, when the afternoon of her arrival is finally here, I repeatedly check the flight status. I’m waiting in the cell lot when she texts, “Here! Going to get bags.” Then, I drive around and around until I see her standing outside the terminal. I jump out and lift her bag into the back and race home as fast as possible, so that she can have her favorite meal, which I’ve spent all day preparing, starting with a crock pot full of queso. Then, she falls asleep on the couch and my husband and I tiptoe around her, and retreat to our bedroom, even though there’s no high-def in there. The next day, I’m up early, making pigs in a blanket, Kerbey Lane pancakes and reading the paper, waiting to serve breakfast. At noon, I give up and, having missed my usual exercise class, I decide to go on a walk. After a couple of blocks, I return home and open the door to find that she’s still asleep. Ok, time to get on with my day. The minute I jump in the shower, the water pressure decreases and the water turns lukewarm. She’s up!

The video continues to point out truths and there’s a bit about how the returning college student wants queso and chips more than drugs. Uh-oh. And how the neighbors swarm around her like paparazzi when she ventures outside. Also true. Finally, we’re nearing the end when a new character pops up to state that her mom puts out “so many bowls” for her; chips, mints and seashell bowls, potpourri, nuts and M&M’s. “She puts out these bowls for me and any bowl I like I get for free.” Hmmm. I put fall fruit in a bowl on the dining room table and a bowl of red and green Hershey’s kisses on the console in the den. And, sadly, I recently placed a bowl of sea shells from our last vacation on my daughter’s dresser. Who writes for SNL and when were they in my house?

Finally, the skit draws to a close with the girls blowing kisses to their mothers and saying, “See you in a month for Christmas. We’re doing this ALL again.” Oh no; no we’re not. I have seen the error of my ways and it stops here. There will be no queso and no bowls at Christmastime. Join me, fellow moms of collegians. Let’s stop the insanity.

Here’s the link, if you dare:



Who Knows?

I’m 57 years old and have lived through many election cycles. Sometimes my side wins and sometimes it loses and I deal with it, usually taking it all in stride.  But yesterday I was truly shocked. Stunned. Slapped upside the head silly. Sad. Scared. The person I voted for, yet wasn’t totally excited about, lost. I hadn’t campaigned for her or even contributed to her cause in any way other than to cast my vote. So, why did I feel so gobsmacked? Why was I taking it so personally? I’ve been analyzing myself nonstop for the last 24 hours and I think I’ve got the answer: Because the man who won the presidency is like no candidate we’ve ever seen before. He’s crude, crass, has no filter between his brain and his mouth, tweets like a high-schooler at all hours of the night, engages in silly wars of words with nearly everyone who criticizes him or causes him discomfort, is a reality t.v. star, a former co-owner of Miss Universe contests, was unprepared for three presidential debates and whispered under his breath like an 8th grade debate team loser, and generally never conducted himself in a way that seemed even remotely presidential. For heaven’s sake, an entertainer/correspondent from NBC was fired for chuckling while Trump engaged in “locker room talk.” The person doing the talking is now the president-elect. And, because of all of the aforesaid, it never ever, not even for a minute occurred to me that this man could or would be elected. My naivete despite my mature years is astounding in retrospect.

Today, though,  I feel a wee bit better. I’ve heard Hillary’s concession speech which was warm, gracious and sincere, urging all of us to give the president-elect a chance to succeed. I saw President Obama sitting in the oval office with the president-elect, acting civil, practically congenial. I heard Trump say he would look to Obama for counsel and that he looked forward to meeting with him many, many more times. I saw a post on Facebook saying maybe this is what our country needs. When I read that yesterday, I was horrified. Today, not so much. Why? Because who really knows? No one – and I’m sure not listening to the talking heads on cable news for insight anymore. How did this unconventional candidate become our next president? No one truly knows.  I don’t know and neither do you. Maybe Trump will become someone none of us recognized during the campaign. Honestly, I don’t think the man ever truly believed he’d be sitting in the oval office. Maybe we’ll see a smart businessman who will choose to surround himself with knowledgeable, experienced advisors. Who knows? None of us really knows the man the nation has elected to serve as OUR president. His own party doesn’t know him. Maybe he really will make America great again. (Question: when exactly did the greatness stop?) As we wait and see, let’s discontinue the protesting, the hate-talk, the judging, the self-congratulating, the social media shaming. The democratic process has processed, the voters have spoken. Let’s sit back, watch, wait and see. Because none of us truly knows what we’re in for.